Its not his fault..
And I dint blame him..
But..
I shared everything with him..
But he kept 1 secret from me..
That secret I juz found out..
I'm sad..
I gonna start all over again..
Juz maybe..
In spite of I'm going to SG anyway..
So maybe I could find some1 who's better..
Tears forming..
But I held it, not to let them drop..
I'm not going to cry juz lik dat..
The world is not juz lik dat..
-End-
2 comments:
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO POST THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU GO XIANG, NO MATTER WHERE ARE U, I WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU!!!!!!
THERE'S NO END! THERE NEVER WILL BE! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(i shed my tears when i came to this point.. i had no choice... i broke his heart.. his hopes... upon me... because of 1 simple secret...
at this point, i noticed the importance of friendship.. u will never EVER want a friend to post such kinda blogs..
my tears continue flowing... i told myself, i made the biggest mistake in my life...
i cant feel anything at this point.. my heart was numb.. my fingers were moving... my tears still flowing.. i type with the heart of fear..
i fear that he will break all his hopes upon me.. i fear that he will leave without saying goodbye..
but what i fear the most.. is what he was talking about.. the end...
i hate this word... end... there never will be an end in friendship.. never...
i try to type with a calm heart.. but the word 'sorry' keep popping up in my mind...
bt i noe its useless.. why did i even start to share with him?! its all my fault.. ITS ALL MY FAULT!!!
my tears wet my shirt... i fell to the ground... i started to cry.. weep... nt because that i am sad... because i mad him sad...
i closed my eyes... but all i can see is his face... his mouth.. his words... telling me that i wasnt his true fren...
its reali reali hard.. to be a fren to such a person with such high expectations..
he told me.. his feelings from primary school til now... he tought that i will be the one... the one he was looking for...
my hands shiver.. my heart pumping very quickly... i duno wat to do... i apologized to him... bt he seems to push everything away...
can i even meet him again... can i even look straight into his eyes.. like how i use to do...
can i even talk to him again... im afraid that i will continue to give him more hopes... and kill them off again...
i feel like knocking my head unto a wall... pulling out my own heart and crush it into pieces..
i was so wrong... i did everything wrong... and this is the worst time ever...
i hav to meet him tomorow.. bt i dun think he will wanna meet me..
he told me that we will continue talking tomorow.. bt i dun think i can...
i pushed myself against this wall of thorns... i hurt my self...
i pulled him alongside with me... thinking that he will help me... bt i hurt him in the end...
den i started thinking of the times.. every single moment that he was talking to me... i can feel the warmth... i can feel the love he wanna present..
but wat the heck am i doing?! i'm always playing a fool... thinking that its not serious..
probably in his eyes... i'm the person that will fulfill his long-waited dream.. to find a true friend...
i reali cant hold on to this point.. i dont care about my family.. i yelled in my room... with my pillow covering my face...
then i started to remember.. every single time he called my name... he called with a faithful heart... but what did i do? i ignored him most of the times...
i thought that he wasnt serious... bt i was wrong...
i dont think i can sleep tonight.. tonight will be a long long night...
my fingers shivering, not willing to stop.. i tried to hold in my tears.. control my emotions.. but they will never listen...
i hit the wall of my room with my fist... as hard as i could... saying sorry... sorry... sorry...
he cant hear me... he never will.. never ever will hear me anymore...)
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